Dated Pages

When I was in fourth grade, my teacher made us write journals, then read them out loud to the class. I loved this idea (the writing, not the reading out loud part. That was so EMBARRASSING, you guys!). Ever since then, I’ve tried every year or so to keep a journal. It’s never been a successful venture. I have a huge fascination with pretty books and pens and paper, so I’ll buy a really nice journal, bound in some gorgeous binding. The prettier the cover, the more motivated I’d be to write, of course! No. Quite the opposite in fact. I’d start off strong–the first few entries were always PERFECTLY written, extremely flowerly and beautiful, always about how this was the year I was going to start my novel or find love. Psh. After a few days my inspiration would be gone and I’d be completely stuck. I couldn’t stand to soil those beautiful pages with nonsense. So I’d stop.

And finally I stopped trying. Journaling, apparently, just was not my thing. But oh, how I so wanted to write. There are few things I love more than putting a pen to a fresh piece of note book paper. But I just don’t have that talent. The words just don’t come out smoothly as I feel they should. I had a food blog for awhile, but even that fell by the wayside.

And then in July, I read Note to Self by Samara O’Shea. I had added it to my Goodreads list a long time ago, and it finally cropped up on my radar (when you have almost 2,000 books on your To Read list, sometimes it takes awhile to get around to reading something). The book was cute and entertaining, and while it definitely inspired me to pick up a pen again, I had no idea how much it would change my life. Even my review on Goodreads is pretty underwhelming. Just 3 stars, and all I said was, “a clever book. entertaining. got me writing again.”

I was a month and a half away from my wedding at that point, and so stressed out my hair was turning gray. Not kidding. My husband hated his job (hadn’t gotten his new one yet) and was miserable, I was pushed to the limit at mine, and we still had SO much to do before we walked down the aisle. I was looking for ANYTHING to lighten my load. My friend had pushed me into reading for an hour before bed at night–something I had done back when I was single, but since dating Mr. M I had stopped doing. That had helped for awhile, but the closer I was getting to the wedding the less it worked.

So, when I read Note to Self, I took her advice. I started writing in a stream on consciousness, whenever I felt like it. I keep a notebook around with a pen handy at home, and a word document open at work. If I feel the need to write I do, or if I come across a quote or a poem or excerpt from a book, I record it. It’s almost more a scrapbook of my life than a journal. It started out as a notebook, but I had to transfer it to a 3-ring binder because I was printing and cutting and pasting too much. Since July I’ve almost filled a 1-inch binder. I’ll need a much bigger one by the start of the year.

And I have to say, it’s helped my stress level. My thoughts aren’t bottled in anymore, I get them out and it’s very cathartic. And I can go back and reread it at anytime.

Looking back at my journal entries from the past few months, I can see the changes in what I have been writing, and it’s cool to see how much I’ve changed. People ask me all the time, “What is married life like?” I guess it’s a simple enough question, but I never really have an answer other than “Busy!” Now I know why. So much has happened since July! It’s been quite the roller coaster, and I have it all recorded in this book. I can’t wait to see everything that I’ll write about over the next 50 years. And I plan to. Someday someone is going to open a really heavy box full of dusty old paper and read all of these memories.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013
11:38 am–Someday prosperity is going to read my journal and think, “Wow this woman sure said OMG a lot. Obviously she was not very intelligent.” I’m sorry, I’m a very stressed out bride. I cannot help it!

Now I want to hear from you? Do you keep a journal? How do you go about it? Do you track your habits daily in a meticulous moleskin every night before bed or are you a randomer like me?